a little bit about me

when i was growing up i didn't have a father. people ask me what it was like, and if i could sum it up in one word i would say emptiness. i have an emptiness in my heart. that emptiness is somewhat completed with my mother. although, right now i am happy with how my life is going i do wish i could have my dad back for just a little while. well, the point of this blog is to say that i love my pappap (grandfather). for nine years of my life i lived in dothan, alabama. i love alabama and i love dothan. i was such a sheltered kid. i went to a church where there were only 30 faithful attenders. my friends were my family. my pappap filled part of the emptiness inside me. every weekend in the summer i would go with him down to his beach house in panama city beach, fl, and every friday he would pick me up from school and we would go to TCBY and have ice cream and then watch scooby-doo together. i love pappap like a father. all this is to tell you that i am really concerned with something i found out of recent. i found out last week that pappap has a tumor in his throat. the doctors don't know if it is cancerous yet but it is serious. this is one of those times in my life that i have to realize that God knows what he is doing. this whole year i have talked about dependence on God and how i should trust Him and now is my test. i know i will miss my pappap terribly if he goes, but the Lord takes us through trials to teach us. i just pray that maybe by some miracle pappap will live and that i will still have the only "father" i have ever know other than my stepdad. don't get me wrong i love my stepdad, but i love my pappap too. if ya'll could pray for me in that i am struggling with trusting God that would be a great help. thanks for all of you guy's friendship i treasure it.